Vintage Advice Girl, part 2

Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.

Dear Advice Girl,
Where are the fabric vendors that used to sell material in Charsu bazaar? I have looked all over Tashkent for them. (They are not at the Hepadrome or any of the other obvious places to look.) Barring that, when will Charsu open up the upstairs part again?

Dear Hopeful,
Advice Girl’s first instinct was to apologize, as she is well aware that sequined, crushed-velvet season is fast approaching, but she lives in the village and is not familiar with such worldly things as the bazaars of Tashkent.

Luckily, though, she carefully read between the lines and realized that “in Charsu bazaar” was a clever code name for “in Peace Corps” and that by “fabric vendors” you clearly meant “good-looking unmarried straight men.” Unfortunately, Advice Girl is sorry to say that world-wide recruitment of “fabric vendors” is down. It seems they are too busy “selling material” to girls that have showered in the last week.