Vintage Advice Girl, part 1

Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.

Dear Advice Girl:
What is one to do when you have a strong need to defecate and there are two "guard" dogs protecting the stairway to the only pit toilet? These two dogs are normally chained up but in this particular case the dog that is used in dog-fights was loose in the yard, unbeknownst to me and my host. My host with whom I was guesting kindly walked me to the pit. As we approached the pit toilet, far across the yard, she noticed the dog was not on its chain. "The dog's loose," she said. Then, in a soft voice, "he's behind you."

Should I:
a) push my host towards the dog and run
b) scream at the top of my lungs
c) wash out my pants

Please advise,
Meandogaphobia

Dear Totally Legit Phobia,
First off, Advice Girl would like to thank you for validating the scary-dog-come-off-its-chain fear that she’s been harboring for nearly two years.

That said, putting another between oneself and danger (dogs, disco sketcherellis, traffic, runaway barnyard animals, etc.) is always the preferable option. In fact, small children often work well for this purpose.