Better than a Hermit

Dear Advice Girl,

I've been dating a new guy for a few weeks, and he is swoon-worthy. He's just my type: a returned Peace Corps volunteer of the dirty hippie variety. He also likes to do fun things, like go to concerts, go to folk festivals, host parties and watch Shakespeare plays (I swear, I did not make that last one up).

So what more could I want, you ask? Well, he is SUCH a social butterfly that I rarely get to spend any time alone with him. If he calls to go do something, I have no way of knowing if it means him and me, or him and me and 20 of his closest friends. The only way I am assured of spending alone time with him is if his friends pass out before I do. Yes, my dating habits have turned into an episode of Survivor -- outwit, outplay, outlast.

I know he likes me for the *ahem* obvious reasons, but I am a PLANNER. I've had fun for the past few weeks with his spontaneous nature, but I'm not sure he's ever going to make the same concessions for my slightly obsessive-compulsive nature. Tell me, Advice Girl, is there any hope for a woman with three calendars and a guy who doesn't know what he's doing five minutes from now?

Lonely Luva

Dear Luva,
Advice Girl understands, she really does, but having also been a victim of a few if-you-insist-on-dragging-me-out-with-other-people-i'll-just-sit-here-and-watch-the-game-during-dinner dates, she has to remind you that more social is better than less. (Yeah, that really happened to Advice Girl. You can ask her Advice Friends.) But still, she understands your need for some "quality time" alone with Mr. Friendly. (No, not THAT "Mr. Friendly." Sheesh. Well, okay, maybe that Mr. Friendly, too ;-)

At any rate, Advice Girl recommends taking control of some of the planning for these get togethers. And not in an "I planned this party and ha! you're the only one that showed up! fancy that!" kind of way. But more of an "I'd like to make you dinner at my place" or "I have an extra ticket to this play" kind of way. (Not-so-subtle message: This guest list is capped, thanks.) Good luck.