Posts
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl,
Whenever I go away for a few days I come home to find that my apartment is cleaner then I left it. My landlady has repeatedly sworn not to have a key and while I like the idea of a magic cleaning fairy (I think they call them Brownies here), I just don't think I can believe it. There's never been anything missing and I like my landlady a lot, but I don't need her organizing my underwear. How do I approach this issue without insinuating she's a liar.
-Curiously Clean.
Dear At Least One of Us Is Clean,
You are wise to want to exercise caution. Good landladies here are rarer than sober middle-age men at a wedding, so you don’t want to burn any bridges unless absolutely necessary. Advice Girl believes a mild ambushing is appropriate. Simply lead your landlady to believe you’ll be away for a few days, then hide out with a good book and some Coca-Cola. When the mysterious key-bearing person with the inner-kelin disorder appears, you’ll have to act surprised, but then you’ll be able to gently but firmly insist they turn over their key. Otherwise, padlocks are cheap in the “stuff” section of your bazaar.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Vintage Advice Girl, part 2
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl,
Where are the fabric vendors that used to sell material in Charsu bazaar? I have looked all over Tashkent for them. (They are not at the Hepadrome or any of the other obvious places to look.) Barring that, when will Charsu open up the upstairs part again?
Dear Hopeful,
Advice Girl’s first instinct was to apologize, as she is well aware that sequined, crushed-velvet season is fast approaching, but she lives in the village and is not familiar with such worldly things as the bazaars of Tashkent.
Luckily, though, she carefully read between the lines and realized that “in Charsu bazaar” was a clever code name for “in Peace Corps” and that by “fabric vendors” you clearly meant “good-looking unmarried straight men.” Unfortunately, Advice Girl is sorry to say that world-wide recruitment of “fabric vendors” is down. It seems they are too busy “selling material” to girls that have showered in the last week.
Dear Advice Girl,
Where are the fabric vendors that used to sell material in Charsu bazaar? I have looked all over Tashkent for them. (They are not at the Hepadrome or any of the other obvious places to look.) Barring that, when will Charsu open up the upstairs part again?
Dear Hopeful,
Advice Girl’s first instinct was to apologize, as she is well aware that sequined, crushed-velvet season is fast approaching, but she lives in the village and is not familiar with such worldly things as the bazaars of Tashkent.
Luckily, though, she carefully read between the lines and realized that “in Charsu bazaar” was a clever code name for “in Peace Corps” and that by “fabric vendors” you clearly meant “good-looking unmarried straight men.” Unfortunately, Advice Girl is sorry to say that world-wide recruitment of “fabric vendors” is down. It seems they are too busy “selling material” to girls that have showered in the last week.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Vintage Advice Girl, part 1
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl:
What is one to do when you have a strong need to defecate and there are two "guard" dogs protecting the stairway to the only pit toilet? These two dogs are normally chained up but in this particular case the dog that is used in dog-fights was loose in the yard, unbeknownst to me and my host. My host with whom I was guesting kindly walked me to the pit. As we approached the pit toilet, far across the yard, she noticed the dog was not on its chain. "The dog's loose," she said. Then, in a soft voice, "he's behind you."
Should I:
a) push my host towards the dog and run
b) scream at the top of my lungs
c) wash out my pants
Please advise,
Meandogaphobia
Dear Totally Legit Phobia,
First off, Advice Girl would like to thank you for validating the scary-dog-come-off-its-chain fear that she’s been harboring for nearly two years.
That said, putting another between oneself and danger (dogs, disco sketcherellis, traffic, runaway barnyard animals, etc.) is always the preferable option. In fact, small children often work well for this purpose.
Dear Advice Girl:
What is one to do when you have a strong need to defecate and there are two "guard" dogs protecting the stairway to the only pit toilet? These two dogs are normally chained up but in this particular case the dog that is used in dog-fights was loose in the yard, unbeknownst to me and my host. My host with whom I was guesting kindly walked me to the pit. As we approached the pit toilet, far across the yard, she noticed the dog was not on its chain. "The dog's loose," she said. Then, in a soft voice, "he's behind you."
Should I:
a) push my host towards the dog and run
b) scream at the top of my lungs
c) wash out my pants
Please advise,
Meandogaphobia
Dear Totally Legit Phobia,
First off, Advice Girl would like to thank you for validating the scary-dog-come-off-its-chain fear that she’s been harboring for nearly two years.
That said, putting another between oneself and danger (dogs, disco sketcherellis, traffic, runaway barnyard animals, etc.) is always the preferable option. In fact, small children often work well for this purpose.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Can't We Go Back to Offices? With Doors?
Dear Advice Girl
I need your advice to keep my cool at work. I always try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work. But at this point I’m miserable and flustered due to a very chatty neighbor lady. We work in a shared open air work environment. She is in my opinion bad-mannered and usually unprofessional women in the work place. The major qualm I have with my coworker is that she hopelessly insists on abusing her speakerphone at her desk. She insists on using the highest volume option because as Ms Chatty stated “she wants everyone to hear”.
I have to say she is normally chatting about work so it’s hard to directly confront her about rude she is and how far her voice travels. Her habit has driven all the neighbor employees within a 10 ft circumference to wearing their iPod at their desk at work to drown out her voice. The noise level is really distracting and reduces everyone’s productivity. I have mentioned this noise level issue to my last three direct supervisors and several other employees but no improvements have made over the last several months.
I try to keep my cool at work but one day I may just spur-of-the-moment snap about the issue out of frustration. Any suggestions are welcomed to try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work.
Thanks
Driven up the walls
Dear Up the Walls,
Advice Girl is SO sorry she forgot to tell you this, but right before she left, she discovered an amazing thing. One of your other coworkers, let's call him "LAC", has a phone with a non-functioning speaker. Time for a little late-night switcheroo during one of those busy weeks. Call it a St. Patrick's Day miracle.
If the voice volume continues to be a problem, this may actually be a problem for your company's employee relations department. Advice Girl promises you, they have heard it all, and are accustomed to dealing with delicate matters like this confidentially.
I need your advice to keep my cool at work. I always try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work. But at this point I’m miserable and flustered due to a very chatty neighbor lady. We work in a shared open air work environment. She is in my opinion bad-mannered and usually unprofessional women in the work place. The major qualm I have with my coworker is that she hopelessly insists on abusing her speakerphone at her desk. She insists on using the highest volume option because as Ms Chatty stated “she wants everyone to hear”.
I have to say she is normally chatting about work so it’s hard to directly confront her about rude she is and how far her voice travels. Her habit has driven all the neighbor employees within a 10 ft circumference to wearing their iPod at their desk at work to drown out her voice. The noise level is really distracting and reduces everyone’s productivity. I have mentioned this noise level issue to my last three direct supervisors and several other employees but no improvements have made over the last several months.
I try to keep my cool at work but one day I may just spur-of-the-moment snap about the issue out of frustration. Any suggestions are welcomed to try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work.
Thanks
Driven up the walls
Dear Up the Walls,
Advice Girl is SO sorry she forgot to tell you this, but right before she left, she discovered an amazing thing. One of your other coworkers, let's call him "LAC", has a phone with a non-functioning speaker. Time for a little late-night switcheroo during one of those busy weeks. Call it a St. Patrick's Day miracle.
If the voice volume continues to be a problem, this may actually be a problem for your company's employee relations department. Advice Girl promises you, they have heard it all, and are accustomed to dealing with delicate matters like this confidentially.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Bon Voyage
Hi Advice Girl!
I'm bored with my job. I just want to fall asleep at my computer everyday. How can I spice it up at work?
--Bored Girl
Dear Bored,
New job. Gotta get one. Or perhaps...
Er, no, sorry. Just the one solution here. Happy salary negotiations!
I'm bored with my job. I just want to fall asleep at my computer everyday. How can I spice it up at work?
--Bored Girl
Dear Bored,
New job. Gotta get one. Or perhaps...
Er, no, sorry. Just the one solution here. Happy salary negotiations!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
But Sleeping IS a Hobby
Dear Advice Girl,
Ever since I got a job, I've been collecting ideas for fantastic hobbies to pursue in my spare time - hobbies that could really give me something to talk and think about during those long and sometimes dull work hours. But the irony is, I can't seem to find time to do even the simple things that I theoretically enjoy, like working out and reading a good book, let alone can I imagine devoting my few precious out-of-work hours to cool, but tiring, activities! How can I get motivated to get active in my 'down-time'?
Dreamer in DC
Dear Dreamer,
Advice Girl suggests retiring now, and saving the work for when you’re too old to do other things. That’ll free up plenty of daylight hours. Oh, what? You don’t have dad who invented Hot Pockets to finance your Laguna Beach lifestyle? Right then, plan B.
Actually, Advice Girl’s first tip would be to get thee a Government Job. You know, the kind where you get in at 8 and leave at 3, and in between learn how to make macramé wall hangings from the internet. But let’s say you already have one of those. (Unfortunate Update: Advice Girl has just discovered that macramé is not, in fact, made of macaroni as it was in her mind, making it much less interesting as a conversation piece. So learn something else.)
Now, Advice Girl’s own riveting hobbies consist of attending important cultural events (like happy hour) and educating herself (by watching SuperNanny), so feel free to take on either of those. On the few occasions she’s managed to broaden her horizons otherwise, it’s been things she’s paid (a lot) for. Nothing like shelling out a hundred bucks a month to make you looooove going to the gym. Or knowing you’ll never see that Russian class tuition money from your employer if you don’t attend every single class.
But sometimes it helps to have a buddy. Finding a hobby partner can make you feel just guilty enough that you won’t be tempted to bail and just competitive enough that you’ll want to really do your best. And in other news, Advice Girl has just been promoted and will probably be traveling much less this spring. Belly dancing, anyone?
Ever since I got a job, I've been collecting ideas for fantastic hobbies to pursue in my spare time - hobbies that could really give me something to talk and think about during those long and sometimes dull work hours. But the irony is, I can't seem to find time to do even the simple things that I theoretically enjoy, like working out and reading a good book, let alone can I imagine devoting my few precious out-of-work hours to cool, but tiring, activities! How can I get motivated to get active in my 'down-time'?
Dreamer in DC
Dear Dreamer,
Advice Girl suggests retiring now, and saving the work for when you’re too old to do other things. That’ll free up plenty of daylight hours. Oh, what? You don’t have dad who invented Hot Pockets to finance your Laguna Beach lifestyle? Right then, plan B.
Actually, Advice Girl’s first tip would be to get thee a Government Job. You know, the kind where you get in at 8 and leave at 3, and in between learn how to make macramé wall hangings from the internet. But let’s say you already have one of those. (Unfortunate Update: Advice Girl has just discovered that macramé is not, in fact, made of macaroni as it was in her mind, making it much less interesting as a conversation piece. So learn something else.)
Now, Advice Girl’s own riveting hobbies consist of attending important cultural events (like happy hour) and educating herself (by watching SuperNanny), so feel free to take on either of those. On the few occasions she’s managed to broaden her horizons otherwise, it’s been things she’s paid (a lot) for. Nothing like shelling out a hundred bucks a month to make you looooove going to the gym. Or knowing you’ll never see that Russian class tuition money from your employer if you don’t attend every single class.
But sometimes it helps to have a buddy. Finding a hobby partner can make you feel just guilty enough that you won’t be tempted to bail and just competitive enough that you’ll want to really do your best. And in other news, Advice Girl has just been promoted and will probably be traveling much less this spring. Belly dancing, anyone?
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The American Dream, For You and Me
Dear Advice Girl,
I’m hopelessly searching for my piece of the American dream. To clarify I want to be homeowner (here in DC) in the near future (before 30). However currently, it seems I’m usually strapped for cash after making the normal ends meet after paying student loans, DC rent, and normal financial obligations. With my current single salary vs. my debt obligations it seems as if I will never be able to save enough for a down payment to be able to turn my dream into reality. Do you have any creative ways to save for my down payment, financial advice, or words of wisdom to convert my dream into a reality?
Thanks
Young, Fabulous & Broke
Dear Young & Fabulous,
You too can live the dream! Yes, indeed, that dream where your new best friend, the bank, owns most of your place and lets you live there. Short of selling a kidney, though, let’s look at where you can scrape together this cash. For this, Advice Girl is going to borrow heavily from the wisdom of her latest favorite financial advisor, Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post (see Color of Money over there on the left).
First up, budget budget budget. Don’t have one? They’re easy to get AND you don’t even have to pay for it! The Post has some templates ready for you, so Advice Girl won’t get into the specifics, but trust her, this is crucial. As part of the budgeting exercise, try tracking all your expenses (yep, every single one – even the 11am Coca-Cola). Do this for a month if you can, but a week will still make the point. You may be surprised where some of your cash is going.
Cut expenses. Like the “diet” part of weight loss, this isn’t fun, but it is rewarding when you start to see the results. Advice Girl won’t give you the ol’ try-bringing-your-lunch line, but think about the “extras” in your life. Do you really need internet on your phone? Can you downsize from the 3-at-a-time Netflix plan? Do you really need Netflix at all now that you have cable? Also look at things like insurance premiums – can you get a lower monthly payment in return for a higher deductible? What about roommates, would you take a group house if it meant you were saving an extra $200 a month? How about selling the car? Things like that.
Bring in extra income. This is like the “exercise” when you’re losing weight. All right, all right. Advice Girl knows, you don’t have time for a second job. But there are little bits of extras all around you – the tax refund, the tax refund from last year, the money you get back from your Flex plan receipts, the per diem from working abroad – you were doing just fine without that as part of your monthly budget, so stash it in a high interest online savings account instead.
Finally, you can start doing some of the non-saving-like-mad legwork now, too. Pay your bills on time and check your credit reports so there’s nothing unnecessary dragging your credit rating down when it comes time to apply for a loan. Check out open houses (Spring is the perfect time for this) so you start getting an idea of the neighborhoods you like and the prices the places you like are going for. There are a number of websites that’ll let you play around with sale numbers, too. (Advice Girl needs to do a little research on the exact sites she’s thinking of – zillow.com is one, but she doesn’t believe their figures are entirely accurate.) Even if you’re a few years from actually plunking down the money, it doesn’t hurt to know what your target savings goal should be.
Phew. Bet you’re sorry you got Advice Girl started on this now! At any rate, just having established this as a goal and made it a priority for yourself has already put you way ahead of a lot of others. Devote a couple more years to saving up (the cash) and paying down (the debt) and your American dream will be here before you know it. Good luck!
I’m hopelessly searching for my piece of the American dream. To clarify I want to be homeowner (here in DC) in the near future (before 30). However currently, it seems I’m usually strapped for cash after making the normal ends meet after paying student loans, DC rent, and normal financial obligations. With my current single salary vs. my debt obligations it seems as if I will never be able to save enough for a down payment to be able to turn my dream into reality. Do you have any creative ways to save for my down payment, financial advice, or words of wisdom to convert my dream into a reality?
Thanks
Young, Fabulous & Broke
Dear Young & Fabulous,
You too can live the dream! Yes, indeed, that dream where your new best friend, the bank, owns most of your place and lets you live there. Short of selling a kidney, though, let’s look at where you can scrape together this cash. For this, Advice Girl is going to borrow heavily from the wisdom of her latest favorite financial advisor, Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post (see Color of Money over there on the left).
First up, budget budget budget. Don’t have one? They’re easy to get AND you don’t even have to pay for it! The Post has some templates ready for you, so Advice Girl won’t get into the specifics, but trust her, this is crucial. As part of the budgeting exercise, try tracking all your expenses (yep, every single one – even the 11am Coca-Cola). Do this for a month if you can, but a week will still make the point. You may be surprised where some of your cash is going.
Cut expenses. Like the “diet” part of weight loss, this isn’t fun, but it is rewarding when you start to see the results. Advice Girl won’t give you the ol’ try-bringing-your-lunch line, but think about the “extras” in your life. Do you really need internet on your phone? Can you downsize from the 3-at-a-time Netflix plan? Do you really need Netflix at all now that you have cable? Also look at things like insurance premiums – can you get a lower monthly payment in return for a higher deductible? What about roommates, would you take a group house if it meant you were saving an extra $200 a month? How about selling the car? Things like that.
Bring in extra income. This is like the “exercise” when you’re losing weight. All right, all right. Advice Girl knows, you don’t have time for a second job. But there are little bits of extras all around you – the tax refund, the tax refund from last year, the money you get back from your Flex plan receipts, the per diem from working abroad – you were doing just fine without that as part of your monthly budget, so stash it in a high interest online savings account instead.
Finally, you can start doing some of the non-saving-like-mad legwork now, too. Pay your bills on time and check your credit reports so there’s nothing unnecessary dragging your credit rating down when it comes time to apply for a loan. Check out open houses (Spring is the perfect time for this) so you start getting an idea of the neighborhoods you like and the prices the places you like are going for. There are a number of websites that’ll let you play around with sale numbers, too. (Advice Girl needs to do a little research on the exact sites she’s thinking of – zillow.com is one, but she doesn’t believe their figures are entirely accurate.) Even if you’re a few years from actually plunking down the money, it doesn’t hurt to know what your target savings goal should be.
Phew. Bet you’re sorry you got Advice Girl started on this now! At any rate, just having established this as a goal and made it a priority for yourself has already put you way ahead of a lot of others. Devote a couple more years to saving up (the cash) and paying down (the debt) and your American dream will be here before you know it. Good luck!
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