Posts
Dear Advice Girl,
I've been dating a new guy for a few weeks, and he is swoon-worthy. He's just my type: a returned Peace Corps volunteer of the dirty hippie variety. He also likes to do fun things, like go to concerts, go to folk festivals, host parties and watch Shakespeare plays (I swear, I did not make that last one up).
So what more could I want, you ask? Well, he is SUCH a social butterfly that I rarely get to spend any time alone with him. If he calls to go do something, I have no way of knowing if it means him and me, or him and me and 20 of his closest friends. The only way I am assured of spending alone time with him is if his friends pass out before I do. Yes, my dating habits have turned into an episode of Survivor -- outwit, outplay, outlast.
I know he likes me for the *ahem* obvious reasons, but I am a PLANNER. I've had fun for the past few weeks with his spontaneous nature, but I'm not sure he's ever going to make the same concessions for my slightly obsessive-compulsive nature. Tell me, Advice Girl, is there any hope for a woman with three calendars and a guy who doesn't know what he's doing five minutes from now?
Lonely Luva
Dear Luva,
Advice Girl understands, she really does, but having also been a victim of a few if-you-insist-on-dragging-me-out-with-other-people-i'll-just-sit-here-and-watch-the-game-during-dinner dates, she has to remind you that more social is better than less. (Yeah, that really happened to Advice Girl. You can ask her Advice Friends.) But still, she understands your need for some "quality time" alone with Mr. Friendly. (No, not THAT "Mr. Friendly." Sheesh. Well, okay, maybe that Mr. Friendly, too ;-)
At any rate, Advice Girl recommends taking control of some of the planning for these get togethers. And not in an "I planned this party and ha! you're the only one that showed up! fancy that!" kind of way. But more of an "I'd like to make you dinner at my place" or "I have an extra ticket to this play" kind of way. (Not-so-subtle message: This guest list is capped, thanks.) Good luck.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Contact Advice Girl
Advice Fans, get your problems ready! You can now use this handy and secure form to submit questions right to Advice Girl AND you will no longer have to wait for her to check one of several auxillary email accounts to get back to you. (This message has been brought to you by: Technology.)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Will Advise for Krispy Kreme
Help! I love Advice Girl's advice, but with my busy life and with so much stuff on the internet, I often forget to check Advice Girl and miss her best advice when it's still red hot. Is there a way I can be notified as soon as Advice Girl dishes out some of her insight? Can Advice Girl give me a call when she answers a new question? Or come to my door? With doughnuts?
Dear Adviceless,
All right all right, it’s been a while since Advice Girl has done this (she tends to have Advice Guy manage these sorts of things), but here goes.
Dear Adviceless,
All right all right, it’s been a while since Advice Girl has done this (she tends to have Advice Guy manage these sorts of things), but here goes.
First thing you'll want to do is go to www.google.com/reader. It'll ask you to login, so if you don't have a google account, you'll want to create one now. (Trust Advice Girl, it's quick and painless, and no, you don't have to switch to gmail to use it.)
Now, Advice Girl, you might ask, if I'm going to go to this site every day to check whether you've updated, why don't I just go to your site? Ah, Advice Girl would explain, this is the brilliant part - you can rig this up for many other sites, allowing you to monitor your favorite blogs, Washington Post articles, comic strips, and more.
Just look for the handy orange icon on any web page, click on it, and copy-and-paste the address of the new window that pops up into the "add a subscription" field on Google Reader. This will cause Advice Girl to get her own handy link under the "Subscriptions" heading on the left side of the page. And when(ever) she has a new post, it'll get all boldy.
How was that? Too much too soon? Advice girl promises it's quite easy and a great way to corral all your regular reads into one place. Not to mention stay up on Advice Girl's annual blog updates.
Just look for the handy orange icon on any web page, click on it, and copy-and-paste the address of the new window that pops up into the "add a subscription" field on Google Reader. This will cause Advice Girl to get her own handy link under the "Subscriptions" heading on the left side of the page. And when(ever) she has a new post, it'll get all boldy.
How was that? Too much too soon? Advice girl promises it's quite easy and a great way to corral all your regular reads into one place. Not to mention stay up on Advice Girl's annual blog updates.
Advice Girl Returns
Dear Advice Girl,
Do you still have your advice column blog? I need help. How do you reverse the tragic mistake of accepting friend requests from two trashy in-laws? They are treating facebook like MySpace. I am not interested in receiving the pudding they have flung at me nor comparing my knowledge of WWII tankers. I don't want their creepy sex poems showing up on my news feed. I also don't want them writing on my wall.
Do you still have your advice column blog? I need help. How do you reverse the tragic mistake of accepting friend requests from two trashy in-laws? They are treating facebook like MySpace. I am not interested in receiving the pudding they have flung at me nor comparing my knowledge of WWII tankers. I don't want their creepy sex poems showing up on my news feed. I also don't want them writing on my wall.
Dear That's Why You're Not on my Restricted List,
Thank you for allowing Advice Girl an annual update to her apparently-still-active blog account. Rest assured she has spent this sabbatical studying all the advice columns her RSS reader could handle. Unfortunately, yours is a growing problem, and Advice Girl wishes the powers that be could spend a little less time lil'-green-patching and a little more time on friend list crowd contrl. Now, everyone knows about making lists of people who only see limited aspects of your profile. What Advice Girl really wishes for, though, is a way to request being put on someone else's list. As in "Please, I don't need to see your high school banter or vaguely homophobic status updates, I just need to have a way of getting your most recent email address in case of emegerncy. Thanks." At any rate, Advice Girl has come up with three fairly unsuccessful methods of dealing with the madness, and she is happy to share these with you now.
1) Ignore and then eventually decline obscure relatives' friend requests. This usually results in their thinking that they have not yet tried to friend you and subsequent re-friending attempts. Advice Girl has not yet determined a solution for this.
2) Choosing the "Less About Trashy In-Law" option on the News Feed tab. This does, in fact, provide you with less about Trashy In-Law, but tends to leave Advice Girl with a vague sense that she's missing out on something she should know about. Even when that tends to be drunken-pics-I-was-tagged-in, she still feels it her Advice-ly duty to stay on top of these things. If only to keep her sense of superiority sharpened.
3) Actually, Advice Girl apparently only had two methods to share with you. (Advice Girl is not that good at math.) She would like to apologize for any inconvenience this shortened reading experience may have caused.
Oh wait, Advice Girl did remember her third option. Friend Pruning. Sometimes you just gotta go through and get rid of the unsightly parts of your facebook friendship tree. Best of luck.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Vintage Advice Girl, part 3
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl,
Whenever I go away for a few days I come home to find that my apartment is cleaner then I left it. My landlady has repeatedly sworn not to have a key and while I like the idea of a magic cleaning fairy (I think they call them Brownies here), I just don't think I can believe it. There's never been anything missing and I like my landlady a lot, but I don't need her organizing my underwear. How do I approach this issue without insinuating she's a liar.
-Curiously Clean.
Dear At Least One of Us Is Clean,
You are wise to want to exercise caution. Good landladies here are rarer than sober middle-age men at a wedding, so you don’t want to burn any bridges unless absolutely necessary. Advice Girl believes a mild ambushing is appropriate. Simply lead your landlady to believe you’ll be away for a few days, then hide out with a good book and some Coca-Cola. When the mysterious key-bearing person with the inner-kelin disorder appears, you’ll have to act surprised, but then you’ll be able to gently but firmly insist they turn over their key. Otherwise, padlocks are cheap in the “stuff” section of your bazaar.
Dear Advice Girl,
Whenever I go away for a few days I come home to find that my apartment is cleaner then I left it. My landlady has repeatedly sworn not to have a key and while I like the idea of a magic cleaning fairy (I think they call them Brownies here), I just don't think I can believe it. There's never been anything missing and I like my landlady a lot, but I don't need her organizing my underwear. How do I approach this issue without insinuating she's a liar.
-Curiously Clean.
Dear At Least One of Us Is Clean,
You are wise to want to exercise caution. Good landladies here are rarer than sober middle-age men at a wedding, so you don’t want to burn any bridges unless absolutely necessary. Advice Girl believes a mild ambushing is appropriate. Simply lead your landlady to believe you’ll be away for a few days, then hide out with a good book and some Coca-Cola. When the mysterious key-bearing person with the inner-kelin disorder appears, you’ll have to act surprised, but then you’ll be able to gently but firmly insist they turn over their key. Otherwise, padlocks are cheap in the “stuff” section of your bazaar.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Vintage Advice Girl, part 2
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl,
Where are the fabric vendors that used to sell material in Charsu bazaar? I have looked all over Tashkent for them. (They are not at the Hepadrome or any of the other obvious places to look.) Barring that, when will Charsu open up the upstairs part again?
Dear Hopeful,
Advice Girl’s first instinct was to apologize, as she is well aware that sequined, crushed-velvet season is fast approaching, but she lives in the village and is not familiar with such worldly things as the bazaars of Tashkent.
Luckily, though, she carefully read between the lines and realized that “in Charsu bazaar” was a clever code name for “in Peace Corps” and that by “fabric vendors” you clearly meant “good-looking unmarried straight men.” Unfortunately, Advice Girl is sorry to say that world-wide recruitment of “fabric vendors” is down. It seems they are too busy “selling material” to girls that have showered in the last week.
Dear Advice Girl,
Where are the fabric vendors that used to sell material in Charsu bazaar? I have looked all over Tashkent for them. (They are not at the Hepadrome or any of the other obvious places to look.) Barring that, when will Charsu open up the upstairs part again?
Dear Hopeful,
Advice Girl’s first instinct was to apologize, as she is well aware that sequined, crushed-velvet season is fast approaching, but she lives in the village and is not familiar with such worldly things as the bazaars of Tashkent.
Luckily, though, she carefully read between the lines and realized that “in Charsu bazaar” was a clever code name for “in Peace Corps” and that by “fabric vendors” you clearly meant “good-looking unmarried straight men.” Unfortunately, Advice Girl is sorry to say that world-wide recruitment of “fabric vendors” is down. It seems they are too busy “selling material” to girls that have showered in the last week.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Vintage Advice Girl, part 1
Editors note: Advice Girl is currently out of the country. While she's away, we invite you to enjoy these snippets from her previous incarnation.
Dear Advice Girl:
What is one to do when you have a strong need to defecate and there are two "guard" dogs protecting the stairway to the only pit toilet? These two dogs are normally chained up but in this particular case the dog that is used in dog-fights was loose in the yard, unbeknownst to me and my host. My host with whom I was guesting kindly walked me to the pit. As we approached the pit toilet, far across the yard, she noticed the dog was not on its chain. "The dog's loose," she said. Then, in a soft voice, "he's behind you."
Should I:
a) push my host towards the dog and run
b) scream at the top of my lungs
c) wash out my pants
Please advise,
Meandogaphobia
Dear Totally Legit Phobia,
First off, Advice Girl would like to thank you for validating the scary-dog-come-off-its-chain fear that she’s been harboring for nearly two years.
That said, putting another between oneself and danger (dogs, disco sketcherellis, traffic, runaway barnyard animals, etc.) is always the preferable option. In fact, small children often work well for this purpose.
Dear Advice Girl:
What is one to do when you have a strong need to defecate and there are two "guard" dogs protecting the stairway to the only pit toilet? These two dogs are normally chained up but in this particular case the dog that is used in dog-fights was loose in the yard, unbeknownst to me and my host. My host with whom I was guesting kindly walked me to the pit. As we approached the pit toilet, far across the yard, she noticed the dog was not on its chain. "The dog's loose," she said. Then, in a soft voice, "he's behind you."
Should I:
a) push my host towards the dog and run
b) scream at the top of my lungs
c) wash out my pants
Please advise,
Meandogaphobia
Dear Totally Legit Phobia,
First off, Advice Girl would like to thank you for validating the scary-dog-come-off-its-chain fear that she’s been harboring for nearly two years.
That said, putting another between oneself and danger (dogs, disco sketcherellis, traffic, runaway barnyard animals, etc.) is always the preferable option. In fact, small children often work well for this purpose.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Can't We Go Back to Offices? With Doors?
Dear Advice Girl
I need your advice to keep my cool at work. I always try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work. But at this point I’m miserable and flustered due to a very chatty neighbor lady. We work in a shared open air work environment. She is in my opinion bad-mannered and usually unprofessional women in the work place. The major qualm I have with my coworker is that she hopelessly insists on abusing her speakerphone at her desk. She insists on using the highest volume option because as Ms Chatty stated “she wants everyone to hear”.
I have to say she is normally chatting about work so it’s hard to directly confront her about rude she is and how far her voice travels. Her habit has driven all the neighbor employees within a 10 ft circumference to wearing their iPod at their desk at work to drown out her voice. The noise level is really distracting and reduces everyone’s productivity. I have mentioned this noise level issue to my last three direct supervisors and several other employees but no improvements have made over the last several months.
I try to keep my cool at work but one day I may just spur-of-the-moment snap about the issue out of frustration. Any suggestions are welcomed to try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work.
Thanks
Driven up the walls
Dear Up the Walls,
Advice Girl is SO sorry she forgot to tell you this, but right before she left, she discovered an amazing thing. One of your other coworkers, let's call him "LAC", has a phone with a non-functioning speaker. Time for a little late-night switcheroo during one of those busy weeks. Call it a St. Patrick's Day miracle.
If the voice volume continues to be a problem, this may actually be a problem for your company's employee relations department. Advice Girl promises you, they have heard it all, and are accustomed to dealing with delicate matters like this confidentially.
I need your advice to keep my cool at work. I always try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work. But at this point I’m miserable and flustered due to a very chatty neighbor lady. We work in a shared open air work environment. She is in my opinion bad-mannered and usually unprofessional women in the work place. The major qualm I have with my coworker is that she hopelessly insists on abusing her speakerphone at her desk. She insists on using the highest volume option because as Ms Chatty stated “she wants everyone to hear”.
I have to say she is normally chatting about work so it’s hard to directly confront her about rude she is and how far her voice travels. Her habit has driven all the neighbor employees within a 10 ft circumference to wearing their iPod at their desk at work to drown out her voice. The noise level is really distracting and reduces everyone’s productivity. I have mentioned this noise level issue to my last three direct supervisors and several other employees but no improvements have made over the last several months.
I try to keep my cool at work but one day I may just spur-of-the-moment snap about the issue out of frustration. Any suggestions are welcomed to try to be professional, to be nice, and to be cordial when at work.
Thanks
Driven up the walls
Dear Up the Walls,
Advice Girl is SO sorry she forgot to tell you this, but right before she left, she discovered an amazing thing. One of your other coworkers, let's call him "LAC", has a phone with a non-functioning speaker. Time for a little late-night switcheroo during one of those busy weeks. Call it a St. Patrick's Day miracle.
If the voice volume continues to be a problem, this may actually be a problem for your company's employee relations department. Advice Girl promises you, they have heard it all, and are accustomed to dealing with delicate matters like this confidentially.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Bon Voyage
Hi Advice Girl!
I'm bored with my job. I just want to fall asleep at my computer everyday. How can I spice it up at work?
--Bored Girl
Dear Bored,
New job. Gotta get one. Or perhaps...
Er, no, sorry. Just the one solution here. Happy salary negotiations!
I'm bored with my job. I just want to fall asleep at my computer everyday. How can I spice it up at work?
--Bored Girl
Dear Bored,
New job. Gotta get one. Or perhaps...
Er, no, sorry. Just the one solution here. Happy salary negotiations!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
But Sleeping IS a Hobby
Dear Advice Girl,
Ever since I got a job, I've been collecting ideas for fantastic hobbies to pursue in my spare time - hobbies that could really give me something to talk and think about during those long and sometimes dull work hours. But the irony is, I can't seem to find time to do even the simple things that I theoretically enjoy, like working out and reading a good book, let alone can I imagine devoting my few precious out-of-work hours to cool, but tiring, activities! How can I get motivated to get active in my 'down-time'?
Dreamer in DC
Dear Dreamer,
Advice Girl suggests retiring now, and saving the work for when you’re too old to do other things. That’ll free up plenty of daylight hours. Oh, what? You don’t have dad who invented Hot Pockets to finance your Laguna Beach lifestyle? Right then, plan B.
Actually, Advice Girl’s first tip would be to get thee a Government Job. You know, the kind where you get in at 8 and leave at 3, and in between learn how to make macramé wall hangings from the internet. But let’s say you already have one of those. (Unfortunate Update: Advice Girl has just discovered that macramé is not, in fact, made of macaroni as it was in her mind, making it much less interesting as a conversation piece. So learn something else.)
Now, Advice Girl’s own riveting hobbies consist of attending important cultural events (like happy hour) and educating herself (by watching SuperNanny), so feel free to take on either of those. On the few occasions she’s managed to broaden her horizons otherwise, it’s been things she’s paid (a lot) for. Nothing like shelling out a hundred bucks a month to make you looooove going to the gym. Or knowing you’ll never see that Russian class tuition money from your employer if you don’t attend every single class.
But sometimes it helps to have a buddy. Finding a hobby partner can make you feel just guilty enough that you won’t be tempted to bail and just competitive enough that you’ll want to really do your best. And in other news, Advice Girl has just been promoted and will probably be traveling much less this spring. Belly dancing, anyone?
Ever since I got a job, I've been collecting ideas for fantastic hobbies to pursue in my spare time - hobbies that could really give me something to talk and think about during those long and sometimes dull work hours. But the irony is, I can't seem to find time to do even the simple things that I theoretically enjoy, like working out and reading a good book, let alone can I imagine devoting my few precious out-of-work hours to cool, but tiring, activities! How can I get motivated to get active in my 'down-time'?
Dreamer in DC
Dear Dreamer,
Advice Girl suggests retiring now, and saving the work for when you’re too old to do other things. That’ll free up plenty of daylight hours. Oh, what? You don’t have dad who invented Hot Pockets to finance your Laguna Beach lifestyle? Right then, plan B.
Actually, Advice Girl’s first tip would be to get thee a Government Job. You know, the kind where you get in at 8 and leave at 3, and in between learn how to make macramé wall hangings from the internet. But let’s say you already have one of those. (Unfortunate Update: Advice Girl has just discovered that macramé is not, in fact, made of macaroni as it was in her mind, making it much less interesting as a conversation piece. So learn something else.)
Now, Advice Girl’s own riveting hobbies consist of attending important cultural events (like happy hour) and educating herself (by watching SuperNanny), so feel free to take on either of those. On the few occasions she’s managed to broaden her horizons otherwise, it’s been things she’s paid (a lot) for. Nothing like shelling out a hundred bucks a month to make you looooove going to the gym. Or knowing you’ll never see that Russian class tuition money from your employer if you don’t attend every single class.
But sometimes it helps to have a buddy. Finding a hobby partner can make you feel just guilty enough that you won’t be tempted to bail and just competitive enough that you’ll want to really do your best. And in other news, Advice Girl has just been promoted and will probably be traveling much less this spring. Belly dancing, anyone?
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The American Dream, For You and Me
Dear Advice Girl,
I’m hopelessly searching for my piece of the American dream. To clarify I want to be homeowner (here in DC) in the near future (before 30). However currently, it seems I’m usually strapped for cash after making the normal ends meet after paying student loans, DC rent, and normal financial obligations. With my current single salary vs. my debt obligations it seems as if I will never be able to save enough for a down payment to be able to turn my dream into reality. Do you have any creative ways to save for my down payment, financial advice, or words of wisdom to convert my dream into a reality?
Thanks
Young, Fabulous & Broke
Dear Young & Fabulous,
You too can live the dream! Yes, indeed, that dream where your new best friend, the bank, owns most of your place and lets you live there. Short of selling a kidney, though, let’s look at where you can scrape together this cash. For this, Advice Girl is going to borrow heavily from the wisdom of her latest favorite financial advisor, Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post (see Color of Money over there on the left).
First up, budget budget budget. Don’t have one? They’re easy to get AND you don’t even have to pay for it! The Post has some templates ready for you, so Advice Girl won’t get into the specifics, but trust her, this is crucial. As part of the budgeting exercise, try tracking all your expenses (yep, every single one – even the 11am Coca-Cola). Do this for a month if you can, but a week will still make the point. You may be surprised where some of your cash is going.
Cut expenses. Like the “diet” part of weight loss, this isn’t fun, but it is rewarding when you start to see the results. Advice Girl won’t give you the ol’ try-bringing-your-lunch line, but think about the “extras” in your life. Do you really need internet on your phone? Can you downsize from the 3-at-a-time Netflix plan? Do you really need Netflix at all now that you have cable? Also look at things like insurance premiums – can you get a lower monthly payment in return for a higher deductible? What about roommates, would you take a group house if it meant you were saving an extra $200 a month? How about selling the car? Things like that.
Bring in extra income. This is like the “exercise” when you’re losing weight. All right, all right. Advice Girl knows, you don’t have time for a second job. But there are little bits of extras all around you – the tax refund, the tax refund from last year, the money you get back from your Flex plan receipts, the per diem from working abroad – you were doing just fine without that as part of your monthly budget, so stash it in a high interest online savings account instead.
Finally, you can start doing some of the non-saving-like-mad legwork now, too. Pay your bills on time and check your credit reports so there’s nothing unnecessary dragging your credit rating down when it comes time to apply for a loan. Check out open houses (Spring is the perfect time for this) so you start getting an idea of the neighborhoods you like and the prices the places you like are going for. There are a number of websites that’ll let you play around with sale numbers, too. (Advice Girl needs to do a little research on the exact sites she’s thinking of – zillow.com is one, but she doesn’t believe their figures are entirely accurate.) Even if you’re a few years from actually plunking down the money, it doesn’t hurt to know what your target savings goal should be.
Phew. Bet you’re sorry you got Advice Girl started on this now! At any rate, just having established this as a goal and made it a priority for yourself has already put you way ahead of a lot of others. Devote a couple more years to saving up (the cash) and paying down (the debt) and your American dream will be here before you know it. Good luck!
I’m hopelessly searching for my piece of the American dream. To clarify I want to be homeowner (here in DC) in the near future (before 30). However currently, it seems I’m usually strapped for cash after making the normal ends meet after paying student loans, DC rent, and normal financial obligations. With my current single salary vs. my debt obligations it seems as if I will never be able to save enough for a down payment to be able to turn my dream into reality. Do you have any creative ways to save for my down payment, financial advice, or words of wisdom to convert my dream into a reality?
Thanks
Young, Fabulous & Broke
Dear Young & Fabulous,
You too can live the dream! Yes, indeed, that dream where your new best friend, the bank, owns most of your place and lets you live there. Short of selling a kidney, though, let’s look at where you can scrape together this cash. For this, Advice Girl is going to borrow heavily from the wisdom of her latest favorite financial advisor, Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post (see Color of Money over there on the left).
First up, budget budget budget. Don’t have one? They’re easy to get AND you don’t even have to pay for it! The Post has some templates ready for you, so Advice Girl won’t get into the specifics, but trust her, this is crucial. As part of the budgeting exercise, try tracking all your expenses (yep, every single one – even the 11am Coca-Cola). Do this for a month if you can, but a week will still make the point. You may be surprised where some of your cash is going.
Cut expenses. Like the “diet” part of weight loss, this isn’t fun, but it is rewarding when you start to see the results. Advice Girl won’t give you the ol’ try-bringing-your-lunch line, but think about the “extras” in your life. Do you really need internet on your phone? Can you downsize from the 3-at-a-time Netflix plan? Do you really need Netflix at all now that you have cable? Also look at things like insurance premiums – can you get a lower monthly payment in return for a higher deductible? What about roommates, would you take a group house if it meant you were saving an extra $200 a month? How about selling the car? Things like that.
Bring in extra income. This is like the “exercise” when you’re losing weight. All right, all right. Advice Girl knows, you don’t have time for a second job. But there are little bits of extras all around you – the tax refund, the tax refund from last year, the money you get back from your Flex plan receipts, the per diem from working abroad – you were doing just fine without that as part of your monthly budget, so stash it in a high interest online savings account instead.
Finally, you can start doing some of the non-saving-like-mad legwork now, too. Pay your bills on time and check your credit reports so there’s nothing unnecessary dragging your credit rating down when it comes time to apply for a loan. Check out open houses (Spring is the perfect time for this) so you start getting an idea of the neighborhoods you like and the prices the places you like are going for. There are a number of websites that’ll let you play around with sale numbers, too. (Advice Girl needs to do a little research on the exact sites she’s thinking of – zillow.com is one, but she doesn’t believe their figures are entirely accurate.) Even if you’re a few years from actually plunking down the money, it doesn’t hurt to know what your target savings goal should be.
Phew. Bet you’re sorry you got Advice Girl started on this now! At any rate, just having established this as a goal and made it a priority for yourself has already put you way ahead of a lot of others. Devote a couple more years to saving up (the cash) and paying down (the debt) and your American dream will be here before you know it. Good luck!
Monday, February 18, 2008
You've Lost that Surfing Feeling
Dear Advice Girl,
I feel like the internet is getting kind of stale. Do you have any idea how it could reinvent itself for our continued amusement?
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Laptop
Dear Laptop,
Sometimes Advice Girl will be sitting at her desk, diligently looking up per diem in Jerusalem or the most recent standardized exchange rate for Egypt, when she’ll have a perfectly normal question like “What college will my kids go to?” or “Will I have a cold this weekend?” And trustingly, she’ll turn to her good friend Google, only to discover…this information canNOT be found on the internet! Well. Some information age this is. All Advice Girl is saying is that, the internet knows everything. Is it too much to ask that it share its knowledge of the future?
I feel like the internet is getting kind of stale. Do you have any idea how it could reinvent itself for our continued amusement?
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Laptop
Dear Laptop,
Sometimes Advice Girl will be sitting at her desk, diligently looking up per diem in Jerusalem or the most recent standardized exchange rate for Egypt, when she’ll have a perfectly normal question like “What college will my kids go to?” or “Will I have a cold this weekend?” And trustingly, she’ll turn to her good friend Google, only to discover…this information canNOT be found on the internet! Well. Some information age this is. All Advice Girl is saying is that, the internet knows everything. Is it too much to ask that it share its knowledge of the future?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
When Housewares Have Too Much Influence on Your Life.
Dear Advice Girl,
Do you realize you’ve been in your fancy new grown-up apartment for almost a year now? Have us over already!
Sincerely,
It's Almost Too Cold for a Housewarming
Dear Too Cold,
Indeed, Advice Girl was just checking out the new Crate & Barrel catalogue when she came across her dream pitcher. And do you know what this pitcher said to Advice Girl? It said, “Advice Girl, puh-leeze take me home and serve sangria out of me on a table near tasty Trader Joe’s appetizers! (And by the way, while I may be a talking pitcher, I don’t do any of that singing-dancing crap those Disney sellouts do. So don’t get any ideas.)”
So…never fear, soon Advice Girl and her hardwood floors will be hosting the kind of party guaranteed to drive the downstairs neighbors nuts. Stay tuned.
Do you realize you’ve been in your fancy new grown-up apartment for almost a year now? Have us over already!
Sincerely,
It's Almost Too Cold for a Housewarming
Dear Too Cold,
Indeed, Advice Girl was just checking out the new Crate & Barrel catalogue when she came across her dream pitcher. And do you know what this pitcher said to Advice Girl? It said, “Advice Girl, puh-leeze take me home and serve sangria out of me on a table near tasty Trader Joe’s appetizers! (And by the way, while I may be a talking pitcher, I don’t do any of that singing-dancing crap those Disney sellouts do. So don’t get any ideas.)”
So…never fear, soon Advice Girl and her hardwood floors will be hosting the kind of party guaranteed to drive the downstairs neighbors nuts. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Cold feet - not just for weddings anymore!
Dear Advice Girl,
I’m having heat issues. Namely, there isn’t any in my apartment. I cranked up the radiator, but no tell-tale sounds of water gurgling steamily away. What’s a girl to do?
~So Not Hot in DC
Dear Not,
Advice Girl finds bedmates to be a particularly good source of foot-warmth. Guys seem to really go for the whole cold-toes-on-the-back-of-the-knees thing. (You wondered how Advice Girl got so popular.)
Put on three more pairs of socks, and stay in bed til April. Your boss will understand.
I’m having heat issues. Namely, there isn’t any in my apartment. I cranked up the radiator, but no tell-tale sounds of water gurgling steamily away. What’s a girl to do?
~So Not Hot in DC
Dear Not,
Advice Girl finds bedmates to be a particularly good source of foot-warmth. Guys seem to really go for the whole cold-toes-on-the-back-of-the-knees thing. (You wondered how Advice Girl got so popular.)
Put on three more pairs of socks, and stay in bed til April. Your boss will understand.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Jobs, the New Men
Dear Advice Girl,
I just broke up with my job. It wasn't working for me, and so I finally said "we're through." But now I miss what we had - I miss the money, the long walks through the cold to our evening meetings, the frantic phone calls. I even miss the effort I had to expend to keep us on the same page about our relationship. I know that this was the right decision and that I need to start over and find a new job, but it seems so daunting. How do you recommend that I begin again?
Sincerely,Looking for (New) Love
Dear Looking,
You’re right, break-ups are rough. But in this case, you must stay strong and remember your reasons for splitting. Clearly some needs (like a regular paycheck) were not being met, and in the end, it’d be worse for both of you to stay in such a relationship. Your job is not mature enough for you right now, and you don’t want to be an enabler for bad behavior.
Like all new relationships, you’ll want to take your time getting into a new one. Look around for a while, make sure it’s right for you, don’t be blinded by a fancy title and loose promises of fast promotion (you know, those rich and good-looking jobs). Also, don’t discount the internet. Although some prefer the more traditional set-up-by-a-friend method, many people have found lasting job happiness with internet match making.
In the meantime, consider a fling with Starbucks to keep the rent covered. Good luck!
I just broke up with my job. It wasn't working for me, and so I finally said "we're through." But now I miss what we had - I miss the money, the long walks through the cold to our evening meetings, the frantic phone calls. I even miss the effort I had to expend to keep us on the same page about our relationship. I know that this was the right decision and that I need to start over and find a new job, but it seems so daunting. How do you recommend that I begin again?
Sincerely,Looking for (New) Love
Dear Looking,
You’re right, break-ups are rough. But in this case, you must stay strong and remember your reasons for splitting. Clearly some needs (like a regular paycheck) were not being met, and in the end, it’d be worse for both of you to stay in such a relationship. Your job is not mature enough for you right now, and you don’t want to be an enabler for bad behavior.
Like all new relationships, you’ll want to take your time getting into a new one. Look around for a while, make sure it’s right for you, don’t be blinded by a fancy title and loose promises of fast promotion (you know, those rich and good-looking jobs). Also, don’t discount the internet. Although some prefer the more traditional set-up-by-a-friend method, many people have found lasting job happiness with internet match making.
In the meantime, consider a fling with Starbucks to keep the rent covered. Good luck!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Just say zzzzzzz
Dear Advice Girl,
I got this fan thing to generate white noise so my boyfriend would be able to sleep better at my place. Now I’m totally addicted! I fear I could lose my treasured ability to sleep anywhere.
~Loves the Slumber
Dear Slumber,
Thanks for reminding Advice Girl to pack her Tylenol PM, but she’s unable to help you with your problem. Incidentally, this may be why advice columnists don’t write questions to themselves.
I got this fan thing to generate white noise so my boyfriend would be able to sleep better at my place. Now I’m totally addicted! I fear I could lose my treasured ability to sleep anywhere.
~Loves the Slumber
Dear Slumber,
Thanks for reminding Advice Girl to pack her Tylenol PM, but she’s unable to help you with your problem. Incidentally, this may be why advice columnists don’t write questions to themselves.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Is it that time already?
Dear Advice Girl,
As you know, America's second favorite holiday (after Flag Day) is coming up - Valentine's Day. I am in a fairly new relationship - 3.5 months. He's great! But how do I know what is/isn't okay to give him for Valentine's Day? Or should I get him anything at all? I'd like to give him something nice and thoughtful, but am afraid it may make him go running and screaming away from "commitment girl."
What do you think?
-VD Malaise
Dear Malaise,
Advice Girl recommends something edible. Bonus points if they’re homemade yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting and sprinkles…mmmm…Oh, sorry, that was Advice Girl’s stomach fantasizing after one of her disappointing “New Year’s resolution” lunches.
Honestly, Advice Girl is a terrible gift giver, and usually tries to be out of the country on days such as this. Also, Feb. 14 happens to be her anniversary at work, so she’s often too busy congratulating herself on somehow holding a job for several consecutive years to be bothered with trying to get reservations at a restaurant. And while she does love flowers, she’s just as happy to get them two days later when the metro men are selling them for $6 again instead of $14. And actually, what Advice Girl would really like is for someone to figure out how to get blog settings to quit appearing in freaking Russian. Although, technically Advice Girl is supposed to know Russian, so she’s a little afraid it’s the spirit of Russian-degrees-past haunting her.
But Advice Girl digresses. In your case, she recommends a funny card and a bottle of Trader Joe’s champagne, followed by, well, activities that often follow sharing a bottle of champagne.
As you know, America's second favorite holiday (after Flag Day) is coming up - Valentine's Day. I am in a fairly new relationship - 3.5 months. He's great! But how do I know what is/isn't okay to give him for Valentine's Day? Or should I get him anything at all? I'd like to give him something nice and thoughtful, but am afraid it may make him go running and screaming away from "commitment girl."
What do you think?
-VD Malaise
Dear Malaise,
Advice Girl recommends something edible. Bonus points if they’re homemade yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting and sprinkles…mmmm…Oh, sorry, that was Advice Girl’s stomach fantasizing after one of her disappointing “New Year’s resolution” lunches.
Honestly, Advice Girl is a terrible gift giver, and usually tries to be out of the country on days such as this. Also, Feb. 14 happens to be her anniversary at work, so she’s often too busy congratulating herself on somehow holding a job for several consecutive years to be bothered with trying to get reservations at a restaurant. And while she does love flowers, she’s just as happy to get them two days later when the metro men are selling them for $6 again instead of $14. And actually, what Advice Girl would really like is for someone to figure out how to get blog settings to quit appearing in freaking Russian. Although, technically Advice Girl is supposed to know Russian, so she’s a little afraid it’s the spirit of Russian-degrees-past haunting her.
But Advice Girl digresses. In your case, she recommends a funny card and a bottle of Trader Joe’s champagne, followed by, well, activities that often follow sharing a bottle of champagne.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Oh yes, we've all been there
Dear Advice Girl,
Help! I'm so disorganized, I don't know what to do. Every couple of months, I get really energized and put all my immediate clutter away where it should go. But slowly it all starts to pile back up on my desk, in my inbox, and on my bedroom floor. My closet is another story – I can't even open the door without something falling out! I've always been this way and breaking the habit has been hard. Do you have any advice on how to make a plan to be organized and stay organized?
Disheveled in the District
Dear Disheveled,
Advice Girl totally hears you on this one. And while her advice may seem too obvious to be true, she promises it really really works. For real. All right, ready? You need to put things IN other things. At work, for example, you may have a handy filing cabinet, oh say, six inches to your right. Turns out, they’re not just for keeping your shoes and oatmeal in – you can actually keep paper in them too! Can, and should. Here’s your new motto: If I can pile it, I can file it. Seriously, keeping some desktop visible will keep your mind uncluttered and you’ll actually be more productive. No, you won’t forget about those things you in there. (If you do, you probably didn’t need them in the first place, right?)
Now, closets are tougher. The problem here is that you just have to get rid of things. (Yes, Advice Girl knows, there probably will be a time when you wished you had a sleeveless kimono-neck style blue jersey tank top that’s slightly too short in the midriff. But if you haven’t worn it in the last 18 months, it’s got to go.) Bedroom floors are tricky, too. They’re so handy for putting things on! Advice Girl recommends lining things up against the wall. Not technically a clutter-reducer, but somehow magically reduces the clutter look. Also, in going with the “things IN things” theme (and feel free to use that as a tongue twister to help non-native English speakers practice their “th”), at home, Advice Girl recommends an ottoman storage bench. Likely available at Crate & Barrel. Just, you know, if you had an occasion that might require registering at some such store.
Help! I'm so disorganized, I don't know what to do. Every couple of months, I get really energized and put all my immediate clutter away where it should go. But slowly it all starts to pile back up on my desk, in my inbox, and on my bedroom floor. My closet is another story – I can't even open the door without something falling out! I've always been this way and breaking the habit has been hard. Do you have any advice on how to make a plan to be organized and stay organized?
Disheveled in the District
Dear Disheveled,
Advice Girl totally hears you on this one. And while her advice may seem too obvious to be true, she promises it really really works. For real. All right, ready? You need to put things IN other things. At work, for example, you may have a handy filing cabinet, oh say, six inches to your right. Turns out, they’re not just for keeping your shoes and oatmeal in – you can actually keep paper in them too! Can, and should. Here’s your new motto: If I can pile it, I can file it. Seriously, keeping some desktop visible will keep your mind uncluttered and you’ll actually be more productive. No, you won’t forget about those things you in there. (If you do, you probably didn’t need them in the first place, right?)
Now, closets are tougher. The problem here is that you just have to get rid of things. (Yes, Advice Girl knows, there probably will be a time when you wished you had a sleeveless kimono-neck style blue jersey tank top that’s slightly too short in the midriff. But if you haven’t worn it in the last 18 months, it’s got to go.) Bedroom floors are tricky, too. They’re so handy for putting things on! Advice Girl recommends lining things up against the wall. Not technically a clutter-reducer, but somehow magically reduces the clutter look. Also, in going with the “things IN things” theme (and feel free to use that as a tongue twister to help non-native English speakers practice their “th”), at home, Advice Girl recommends an ottoman storage bench. Likely available at Crate & Barrel. Just, you know, if you had an occasion that might require registering at some such store.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Our first advice seeker!
Dear Advice Girl,
Help! Living in the big city is hard for a nice girl like me, especially when it comes to dating. It seems like I can never meet a guy who's interested in a real relationship. The guys in bars only have one-track minds, and everyone else I know is married or has a girlfriend. Is there any hope for a woman who's tired of dating and ready to settle down, but not ready to settle for less?!?
-Desperate in DC
Dear Desperate,
Oh my, Advice Girl is sorry it’s taken her so long to reply. She’s not yet accustomed to seeing anything besides the “confirmation-noreply” email in her Advice Inbox. But seriously, she’s on top of it now. (Now, possibly being slightly too late, as rumor has it you’ve had two excellent dates in the last week, but anyway…)
So, the first thing Advice Girl would like to remind you is that, difficult as the big city may be, living in the big suburbs would be infinitely worse. At least here you’re having regular interaction with guys of the same age (more on that in a sec), interests, and marital status as yourself. What is most frustrating to Advice Girl is that she hears this frequently from the guys and the girls, indicating some major missed opportunities.
Speaking strictly from personal experience, Advice Girl recommends being set up by friends, specifically coworkers. The key to making these successful, or at least bearable, are… 1) do NOT go out as a group. There is nothing more awkward than the wink-wink-I-think-they’re-getting-along of your accompanying friend and his girlfriend, unless it’s the oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-they’re-not-getting-along stealth glances of same said couple. Just go out with him by yourself and be your own charming self. Remember, you can always be “going to Tajikistan for a while” if you don’t want to go out with him again. And 2) Meet for drinks. Have a glass of wine or five. It will, shall we say, bring out your charming self a little more quickly. Just trust Advice Girl on this one.
And finally, Advice Girl would like to remind you that man-age in DC is not the same as man-age elsewhere in the country. You need to be dating guys several years older than yourself. This has many benefits including, but not limited to, minimizing the chances of being romantically whisked off to a group house with six roommates and their mates sharing one bathroom. Advice Girl will be happy to elaborate further over drinks.
Help! Living in the big city is hard for a nice girl like me, especially when it comes to dating. It seems like I can never meet a guy who's interested in a real relationship. The guys in bars only have one-track minds, and everyone else I know is married or has a girlfriend. Is there any hope for a woman who's tired of dating and ready to settle down, but not ready to settle for less?!?
-Desperate in DC
Dear Desperate,
Oh my, Advice Girl is sorry it’s taken her so long to reply. She’s not yet accustomed to seeing anything besides the “confirmation-noreply” email in her Advice Inbox. But seriously, she’s on top of it now. (Now, possibly being slightly too late, as rumor has it you’ve had two excellent dates in the last week, but anyway…)
So, the first thing Advice Girl would like to remind you is that, difficult as the big city may be, living in the big suburbs would be infinitely worse. At least here you’re having regular interaction with guys of the same age (more on that in a sec), interests, and marital status as yourself. What is most frustrating to Advice Girl is that she hears this frequently from the guys and the girls, indicating some major missed opportunities.
Speaking strictly from personal experience, Advice Girl recommends being set up by friends, specifically coworkers. The key to making these successful, or at least bearable, are… 1) do NOT go out as a group. There is nothing more awkward than the wink-wink-I-think-they’re-getting-along of your accompanying friend and his girlfriend, unless it’s the oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-they’re-not-getting-along stealth glances of same said couple. Just go out with him by yourself and be your own charming self. Remember, you can always be “going to Tajikistan for a while” if you don’t want to go out with him again. And 2) Meet for drinks. Have a glass of wine or five. It will, shall we say, bring out your charming self a little more quickly. Just trust Advice Girl on this one.
And finally, Advice Girl would like to remind you that man-age in DC is not the same as man-age elsewhere in the country. You need to be dating guys several years older than yourself. This has many benefits including, but not limited to, minimizing the chances of being romantically whisked off to a group house with six roommates and their mates sharing one bathroom. Advice Girl will be happy to elaborate further over drinks.
Monday, January 14, 2008
It's true, she's back
Greetings all! As you may have noticed, Advice Girl has been on a short sabbatical recently. (Okay, three years, which was longer than her original Advice Career, but that's really neither here nor there.) She's safely recovered from that little Central-Asia-village-dwelling experiment and is ready to share her new urban wisdom! Oh, and she thanks you for your patience as she figures out this "blog" business. Now, let's get to your questions...
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